Ticked Off!!

Ok, gonna write despite the fact that I can't get the picture uploaded that I wanted for this blog. It's 1 o'clock in the morning and sleep eludes me once again. It seems that Lyme has its own sleep clock and everything you get to accomplish for the day is based around its time. Yeah, I know I'm writing this in green....for those of you that don't know green is for Lyme Awareness . Yeah there really is something called Lyme Awarenes you see it seems this so callled easy to treat disease has provoked enough frustration in enough people that there had become more and more advocates to teach you about the saftey of not ever having to live through this nightmare. I hadn't told many of my friends much about Lyme because it really is dehumanizing what it does to the human body and the friend they once knew. I very seldom get out of my house anymore as many of you know. There is nothing worse that getting into Walmart-not knowing why you're there, what your there for and then running into familiar faces with this lost and panicky look in your eyes. My friend kinda chuckled at me this week....she said she is going to get me a bracelet that says if she gets lost pleaee call this number. I had to laugh....but really in my mind was thinking HEY I'll TAKE ONE!! You see with lyme it does these funny things with your mind.......it overtakes it!!! You can be driving along having the greatest of days one minute and within a blink of an eye you can be dizzy, disoriented, nauseated and completely petrified that you'll never find your way back home or better yet....back to the old you. I knew little about Lyme before I contracted it. I was like most people. I thought one simple antibiotic and life would return to normal.....boy was alot of us sure wrong. Lyme leaves you with a new surprise every morning and sometimes within minutes to hours. Thank God I have this dear and very attentive husband as we went to the farmers market with David, Heidi and the kids and the place was packed with people, music, tent and vendors. Somthing I used to love....when all of a sudden I felt the warmness of Bill's hand slip into mind and I said to him "you could tell I was getting dizzy an disoriented couldn't you" he simply gave a nod and led me along our way. Its hard to explain to complete strangers even close friends how your body feels. Its truly embarrassing to say that I can't drive there or explain why all of a sudden your extremities look like a parkinson's patient with all the twitching and muscle jerking, its hard to explain why all of a sudden you feel as though your gonna throw up and nothing pre-emptd it. Its hard to explain that when more than one thing is happening around you that your brain can no longer process it all. It hard to explain that when you first get up from a sitting or lying position that it takes a minute for the leg tremors to stop and for the joint rigidity to let go so that you can take those first clumsy steps. I've been laying here tonight thinking of all the thorns that each of us carries that we wish God would remove and I'm even more convinced that Paul's had to be Lyme Disease (just kidding) but I'm also remembering Christ saying "My Grace is Sufficient for You." Time will heal my wounds, my soul may take longer as I've seem to lost that wonder woman attitude and now take each day with the good that I can gain from it. Lyme stinks...but what doesn't stink is a God that has never left my side and has carried me through on the days when I can't walk. Its the pastor friend that says I know you can't drive but I'm coming to get you cause I still need your opinion (that means so much, when you have lost so much of who you were prior). I wouldn't wish this on anyone but God has allowed this thorn and with this thorn I can either embrace its implications and use it for his Glory or I can succumb to its terrible fate. This was supposed to be posted to my personal blog but somehow i've got the church one and mine tied together. LYME BRAIN. I'll get it serperated out sorry for the inconveince.

"Under Attack" by Kay Cameron (a life application devotional from Ephesians 6:11-18)

There was a time not so long ago when Murphy's Law tried to take over our family. Everything that could go wrong, did. My husband was in a car accident resulting in a badly broken arm and surgery. I underwent surgery. My grown children and their families were under attack. Our youngest daughter was under attack. And it was all too much to be just coincidence. All these attacks happened after we made a commitment to be home team pastors for our church. Satan was trying to stop us by occupying us with self-pity over all the bad things that were happening in our lives. During the time we were under attack we learned trust and perseverance. We learned that God's promise is not to protect us from everything bad in this world, but to hold us during the attacks and let us know how much we are loved. We truly learned what it feels like to be held by God. And we never stopped girding ourselves with the full armor of God. He gives it to us for a purpose, that we "might become a spear in the Lord's hand to be used as an instrument of righteousness." It is our hope to be a weapon in God''s hands that He feels He can use anytime in the battle against Satan. We never want to be an instrument for Satan to use.

"Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Praying always, with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints."

The battle rages, but we must be willing to charge the gates of hell with a water pistol. God used David, who was just a boy, and five small stones. He can use us.

"If You Could Only See the Battle" blogpost by Tammy Konneker

It came to me last week, when my husband said that when he gets to heaven he wants to be an angel. And I recall asking him "Are you really sure of what your asking for." Most of us when we think of angels have this precious moments image of cutsey little angels with cherub like faces. But over and over in the bible it reveals that when angels appeared many people fell to the ground in fear and trembling. I believe God reserves the job of angel status for those that stand face to face in adversity and don't give in to the threats of the enemies. In 2nd Kings 6: 15-17 "when theservant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. "Oh, my lord, what shall we do?" the servant asked. Don't be afraid, the prophet answered, "those who are with us are more than those who are with them. And Elisha prayed, 'O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.' Then the Lord opened the servants eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. So many times in our own lives we feel overwhelmed or defeated in the situations of life, we pray but our prayers seem left unanswered when in all reality there is an unseen army that is standing in the gap on our behalf. Daniel could have given up he had already been throw into the fire to perish, he been banished to the lions den but on this occasion he would have been more discouraged than at any of those other times.....as God had came to his rescue in his prior circumstances in such a timely manner. But when Daniel 10 comes into the scene Daniel comes face to face with Michael the Archangel he fell to his knees in fear and trembling it says that his face became pale and he was unable to speak in the angels presence....you see Daniel had been praying to God for help but 21 days had already passed and there seemed to be no answer from God, but (vs13) tells us that Michael informed Daniel that his prayers had been heard from the first time he prayed but it took Michael 21 days to fight the prince of persia (satan) to be able to come to Daniels plea for help. So much of our lives is full of hardships, saddness that we can't comprehend, financial failures, marriage failures, kids that have seemed to have lost their way but fear not God has heard your pleas from the moment you began to pray and know that there is a mighty battle that is unseen on your behalf.

"You Can't Go Back" by Kay Cameron (a life application devotional from Luke 12:34)

This past weekend my husband and I took a trip back to the area where I grew up. Previously, I had always stopped in my hometown when we had gone that way. This time I didn't. There was no use going back to where my old house used to be, since it has been torn down. A new house stands in its place, in the exact middle of both lots. Our house used to stand on the west lot, with the east lot being left empty for summer baseball games and catching lightning bugs in old mayonnaise jars with holes in the lids. My old neighbors no longer lived there. Some had moved to other cities and others had moved completely out of state. The old laundromat is gone, the church where I used to attend Thursday Club for Kids has burned down and been replaced by a new one, and there is even new playground equipment at the schools. I don't even have any relatives who live there anymore. This past weekend it hit me that I can't go back any more. I can live in memories, but I can't go back. Churches are the same way. We can live in our memories, but we can't go back. We must move forward or stagnate. The same is true of our walk with Christ. Memories are precious, but they are not where our treasure is. And treasures are not for storing, like memories. They are for sharing. So share some of the treasures you have today by telling someone about the Treasure of your life.

Luke 12: 34 "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Taking the question out of Christianity....

I have been in the church for as long as I can remember. To miss a Sunday was unheard of in our family...yet even in all of that....something was missing. I recall many a casual services attended even as a child wondering if they understood the totality of their worship or messages preached. It seemed all to scripted...today I look at the church "the body of Christ...the bride of Christ" and I wander what kind of bride would we be. Would we walk that isle with confidence to the bridegroom that awaits or would we be cowardly sitting in the corner thinking ourselves not worthy to marry a groom of this magnitude. In those churches as I was growing I recall so many times families that came for the 911 call. You know the type...you've been the type. We all profess that we believe in God but yet we only need him when our world is crashing down around us. I remember deacons informing divorced mothers that there was no place for them in this church, or the couple that we're living together...being told "no admittance," clean up your act and then come look us up. Do we fail today at reminding people that God chose you!!! He knows your sins, He knows my sins but yet he gently reminds us...that...YOU are Welcome here. I have a place for you. I have a name for you. I have a job for you to fulfill the words that I gave my prophets in times of old. He didn't ask about their past, he didn't dwell on the fact that our messed up lives couldn't possibly be used by the king of kings. We believe the misconception that all of the followers before us Had it All Together before God called and continued to use them. When Christ called his first disciple Peter, Peter had even asked Jesus to go away from him for he was a sinful man. But Christ didn't settle for that he insisted and Peter dropped everything right there in that very moment and gave his life to serving God. 2 Corinthians 5:16 "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation; the OLD is GONE, the new has come! I think that was what attracted us so much to Carlinville Southern life. They believed fully in the fact that Jesus came to save the sick (the lost) not to save the found. We began to grow in the Carlinville Southern family. We began to be challenged by those that surrounded us. We began to challenge one another to walk out a life worthy of the calling. Not to be worthy....but to strive daily to make our lives more inline with that of Jesus. blog post by Tammy Konneker