What To Do Now?

This began as just one of my journal entries. I have been journaling since I first became pregnant with our daughter Morgan. It began as a journal to my unborn child, then over the years I began to journal prayers, thoughts, feelings, things that God was showing me and then Bill and I spent a year journaling to one another. So today as God was showing me things I got my journal out and began this journal entry thinking that it would be for my eyes only but as I was writing I felt as though God was telling me that someone else needs this at this point in their life as well. So here is my entry for today.

Time sure flies by and its been awhile since I've journaled my thoughts and feelings. Alot has happened besides the fact that we are getting older day by day. The world is changing as we know it, I see more and more evidence of Christ's return for the final battle. I often wonder....am I ready? Am I really ready? Am I doing everything the Lord is calling me to do~sadly the answer today would be~NO. I feel as though this illness has placed a yoke around my neck~my heart desires to serve but the body is weak. I know that by stepping out in faith that God would provide the strength that I need~what am I afraid of? Am I afraid that He will ask me to do something outside of my strength and my abilities....of course....isn't that what we're all afraid of?

Even as I write God reminds me of his promise in Isaiah 40:29 "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak even youth grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Then I see him tell me in Isaiah 41:10 "I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I then wonder how to get to that place where God wants me and then I hear Isaiah 45 "I will go before you and will level the mountains, I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places so that you may know that I AM THE LORD the God of Israel who summons you by name." Who summons (calls) me by name...God says "don't worry about how your going to get there-just trust me that I am going before you to prepare the way." So for now I wait-not really knowing what to do...but trusting that God knows and when he is ready he will reveal his plan to me.

Are You Living in Fear?

I don't find it ironic that "Fear" is mentioned 365 times in scripture. I believe that God knew that it would be in our very nature to "fear" so he re-iterated time and time again "to not be afraid-to not fear." So much of our life are new experiences from day to day. It's easy to look ahead and have fear over the unknown. But I find that through scripture I can find peace in whatever this world is throwing at me. Peace in place of fear! I remember at the beginning of my illness I lived with a great deal of fear....fear of not knowing whether all that I was losing would ever come back but as time has drawn on and I've battled this obstacle in life I have learned that this too will pass and though the days may have setbacks or bad days that there is always hope in tomorrow.

On another note I have been wandering alot lately about those that are unsaved and have no faith or no beliefs. I wander if "fear" is what keeps them from surrendering to God's calling and laying down their "fear" of losing control over their life and letting God be in control for awhile. I guess I hadn't thought of this before....but none of us want our lives to be out of our control but yet as a Christ-follower we honestly are not the ones in control of our lives. We have surrendered that to God, we've trusted that He knows better than I what is good for my life and He will allow some hard days and some hard years so that I don't forget that he is the one in control and I.....well I'm supposed to just sit back and listen to his guidance and be obedient to what He is asking me to do. Fear sometimes obscures our vision, it obscures our total reliance on God not on our own mortal selves. So I am going to focus this next year on not living in fear of what God is allowing or doing in my life and learn to embrace it for what it is.

Having Faith is Stepping Aside and Seeing God!

We've all done it, your in a store with your eyes fixed upon the item that you are contemplating buying when all of a sudden it dawns on you to look up. As you look up waiting patiently behind you is someone that is trying to get past the point where you have suddenly stopped. I think many times our christian walk is very similar to the circumstances in the store. We as Christians walk along until our eyes become fixated on something and taken off the one who knows our every circumstance and the very outcome of those circumstances and instead of us stepping aside we in our flesh want to step up to the plate and make the change in our own strength and with our own power. Yes...when Jesus left this earth He told the disciples "you will do even greater things than I" but Jesus also said that he didn't do anything that his Father hadn't told him to do.

Having faith is being able to see your circumstances but yet knowing that, that circumstance wasn't placed in your path for you to fix...it was placed there so that by your faith God could show how awesome He is when we allow him to take the wheel. So many times in scripture strong men of faith stood up and said this is what is going to happen. Did they know for a fact that it would indeed happen as they said, NO, they knew that by their faith God would show up in a miraculous way and provide at just the right time for just the right circumstance. God isn't afraid to step back and let us take our attempts at the wheel....but he says, if you'll let me....the steering will be much easier. Its time for those of us that are Christ-followers to step aside and by faith let God move in the way he has been waiting for.

Faith, Hope, and Love: a life application devotional by Kay Cameron from I Corinthians 13:12-13

We are never sure about why things happen to us. But we can be sure of this, people are watching how we react to our circumstances. While we are Christ-followers, we are also human. So, when we fall down, we have to get back up again and keep on going. This is what Jesus did as He carried His cross to Calvary. And then someone helped Him to carry it. That is what friends and church family do: they see you in a difficult-to-deal-with situation, and they not only encourage you, sometimes they help you carry your burdens. God sends those people into our lives for a purpose.

When we look in a mirror, we see our own reflections. When people look at us, they need to see Christ reflected. If someone sees me handling a problem in a way that glorifies God, and that person gets saved, then the problem in my life was actually not a problem at all--it was a way to show Jesus to someone without opening my mouth. And if someone is seen helping me carry the problem, then the world will see love in action, won't it?

Faith to persevere, hope that there are better things ahead, and love to carry us through. That's what life with Christ is all about.

from 1 Corinthians 13 (Life Application Study Bible)

12"For now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now. 13 There are three things that will endure--faith, hope, and love---and the greatest of these is love.

What do you see when you see me.....blogpost by Tammy Konneker

What do you see when you see me? Few of us go through life wondering how we are perceived by those around us. I've thought alot about that lately, as my pastor reminds me that people see how we handle adversity in our lives....people are watching those of us that call ourselves Christ followers. What will we do when our world is turned upside down by circumstances that are beyond our control? What do we become when we are hurt or insulted by someone around us? What does our day to day life say of our love and devotion to a God that sent his son to take away my sin and your sin. I choose joy! I choose to praise God in the good and in the bad. Job said in Job 6:10 "then I would still have this consolation-my joy in unrelenting pain-that I had not denied the words of the Holy One."

I want to show in and through my life that no matter what this world throws at me that I never gave up on the promises God has given me. Promises of life.....everlasting life. Promises of prosperity....oh, not in what the world sees as prosperity....but that my life was prosperous, that the way I lived my life made positive and impactful changes in those around me. That just as Solomon had asked God for wisdom in 1 Kings 3:9.....not for wealth, nor for revenge upon his enemies but for wisdom to do the right things and make wise decisions...God granted Solomon with his request. I don't need wealth....I need wisdom. I don't need health.....I need strength to persevere under poor health. I don't need recognized.....I need to know that God is recognized through me.

When I look in that mirror....I see what most people see. I see my past mistakes, I see my past pain, I see someone broken but rebuilt by the grace of God. I see someone that has totally surrendered to God and said "your will be done in my life" and I live day to day knowing that his will is the only thing I need to prevail in this life until I join him in eternal life. For what we see in our reflection is far from what God see's in our reflection. He see's the potential that he's given to us, he see's the love that we so often fail to show, he see's goodness and grace. Perhaps its time we start to see ourselves as God see's us....perfect and pleasing in His eye.

Fire Insurance--a life application devotional by Kay Cameron from John 10:4

There are some people I know who would tell you that they accepted Jesus as their Savior simply out of fear, the fear of hell and what it would be like. To them, Jesus was their "fire insurance". Once they had that insurance, they felt spiritually secure. Many dutifully sit in church on Sunday and try to do what is right in God's sight. They think that by following His laws and going to church on Sunday they are fulfilling their part of the salvation covenant with God.

Yes, God wants you to follow His path. Yes, God wants you to fellowship with other believers. But more than that, He wants a daily relationship with you. He wants you to talk to Him, and He wants to talk to you. He wants to spend time with you, and you want to spend time with Him. This relationship will change you daily. You will become a pruned vine, bearing much fruit. You will be like refined gold. You will be molded by the Potter into a vessel for His purposes.

It's not just about the fire insurance. It's about relationship, getting to know the nature of God. We may never know Him as well as He knows us, but we have a wonderful chance to experience life with Him at our sides. What a ride!
God and man converse continuously throughout the Bible. And God still talks to us today. Listen!

John 10:4
And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.

KJV

God Exceedingly Expects Us to want more from him! blogpost by Tammy Konneker

It's so hard for me to wrap my hands around the fact that while Jesus was here he told us in John 14: 12 "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these." WOW, how could we frail humans, flawed by sin, marred by worldly scars do GREATER things than Jesus.....the perfect lamb of God. I think we fail to see our own potential, the potential that all of us have been given to change lives of those around us.

For the past few years I've felt really pressed to lean more into the book of Acts. Luke had written his second book of the bible....as one of the twelve chosen to set off a movement of the Holy Spirit...in Acts Luke sets out to teach what the church should look like, act like and be like. In the first chapter he briefly describes the time that Jesus spent with them after his resurrection. Luke opens with the fact that Jesus came back to them and spent the next forty days speaking to them about the kingdom. Jesus first instruction to them was to WAIT....he was testing their obedience and patience. Jesus tells them that soon he would be gone but the Holy Spirit would come to replace him....and this Holy Spirit would guide us...if we listened and expected to hear.

I have to laugh as I read Acts 1:9-11 "After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight. They were looking INTENTLY up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. 'Men of Galilee,' they said, 'why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." Now......I'm sorry....but wouldn't most of us be freaked out, first by just seeing Jesus ascend into heaven and then as your just standing there in shock, two dudes dressed in white suddenly are standing on either side of you saying.....WHATCHA LOOKIN AT? Luke didn't go any further into detail of their reaction but I can only imagine their dumbfounded look.....and suddenly being speechless as to what had just happened.

After this they began the process of building the church.....Luke says the first thing they did was joined in constant prayer. Most people think that prayer should be a time of just sitting down and praying. I find that when I just sit down and try to pray.....I'm usually at a loss for words. A relationship with Christ is like a good marriage, you spend all day talking and interacting with one another.....I know my husband......I know my Lord. My line of communication is ongoing, there is never a time that I feel that I can't call upon his comfort and know that its there. God has called us to far more than what we are currently giving him. He called us to be more than he was......and so much of the world has crept into our lives that we have forgotten that we were called for Exceedingly more than this.

Snapshot of Your Life--a life application devotional by Kay Cameron from Zech 13:9

When we choose to follow the Jesus Way, we realize that God pervades our life every moment. Everything that happens in our lives has a purpose, a lesson to be learned, an application to our spiritual life.

Think about a snapshot of something that happened to you today. Write it down in a few short sentences. Then think about its application to your spiritual growth. Your inspiration can come from anything: driving to work, using your cell phone, blowing bubbles with your children, dancing, a magazine article, a load of laundry, cleaning the refrigerator, a migraine headache, a disease.....good or bad......what does God want you to learn from these situations that will help you to grow spiritually? How is He refining you today?

Zech 13:9

9 And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.

KJV

Going through fire takes the impurities out of us, and makes us more like Jesus. Count it gain if, in your joys or in your sufferings, you learn to walk closer to Him.

Press In and Press On.....blogpost by Tammy Konneker

It so hard to stay focused in a world today that is so filled with distractions. It becomes harder and harder for a Christ follower to keep focused let alone someone that has not yet come to know the Lord to find strength in a world that seems to have turned upside down. Being a Christ-follower does not make you exempt from struggles....on the contrary it makes you even more susceptible to them as Satan wars once again for your very soul. "In this world, YOU WILL have trouble but have hope for I have overcome the world." I can't imagine Jesus' time here on earth, I can't imagine his days of seemingly defeat...how he would go off from the crowds to pray. The one thing Jesus knew was to Press On he had to Press In.

I wish I could explain why the woman dying of cancer herself would walk out into her living room to find her 28 year old son dead in the recliner. I wish I could tell you why a mother loses a beloved child way too soon. I wish I could tell you why our life of health can be turned upside down by one illness. I don't understand, but I'm not made to understand. I'm created to lean in, to listen close and to pay attention to what God is teaching through these moments. Whether it be compassion, passion, endurance or perseverance.....God has a plan through it all. Our job is to not define God but allow God to define us through our struggles. In the end...my desire is if for people to not remember what took my life but what defined my life. I want to know that by my perseverance that God somehow received glory through my struggles.

My thoughts are of Joseph and how he was appointed by God to be a king yet found himself stripped of his garments and thrown into a well by his brothers to be left for dead. I stand there in the bottom of that well with Joseph and I wander where his thoughts were at that time. I'm sure he was in fact questioning the king part. Wouldn't you? But yet God had already said it would be so, so who was Joseph to question God's ways....by the way God had a plan even at the bottom of Joseph's well. Along came some men and his brothers panicked and decided to sell him to them....not knowing that they were sealing his fate to become king. Joseph turned a very wrong situation into something good. He served as if he was serving the Lord and in his faithfulness God fulfilled his prophecy of Joseph.....but it wasn't until Joseph pressed in to God that the glory of God was revealed to him. Joseph's story and our story all can have similar endings.....the choice is ours....will we press in....or will we surrender our God given position because of seemingly bad circumstances? (read the story for yourself starting in Genesis 37 and I could give you so many more similar stories throughout the bible and throughout the lives of people I have known in my life that rose above their circumstances)

Jeremiah 29:11-14 This well known scripture is quoted over and over again but many times the most important part is left off when its quoted. vs 13 "you will seek me and find me WHEN you seek me with all of your heart. I will be found by you 'declares the Lord and will bring you back from captivity'

Jeremiah 29:11-14 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. I will be found by you declares the Lord and will bring you back from captivity.

Though this struggle may seem long...and though we may not understand how this could possibly be a part of God's plan. We must remember that his plans are for good and his will is to prosper us. Press in and Press on.....

"Grandma's Newspaper Articles", a life application devotional by Kay Cameron from Eph. 2:10 and Hab 3: 2

My mother-in-law had to go into a nursing home, and we had to box up the things in the house. In the process of clearing out her home, we found a box full of old newspaper articles. She had cut out every article about her family that had appeared in the newspaper for the last 50 years! There were articles that mentioned her parents, siblings, and children. And of course, she cut out the entire article that accompanied any picture of her grandchildren.

While it has been really interesting reading through the articles, the thing that struck me most was how much she loved her family. She concentrated on her family her whole life, and the articles are testament to how much she cared about us all.

Every once in a while an article comes over the Internet that stays in my memory. One such article talked about how much God loves us, and how, if He had a refrigerator, our pictures would be on it. You know, I'll bet He even keeps a box of articles about our accomplishments somewhre in His storage closet. I can see the headlines now: Local Church Finishes VBS with a Carnival, Local Girl Goes on Mission to Bulgaria, Cell Groups Meeting in Local Homes, Church Ladies Present Quilts to Graduating Seniors, Youth Group Prayerwalks Town, and on and on, and on. I know He loves us enough to keep all those "articles". We want to please our Father, and He is pleased by our actions that glorify Him.

Yet we also need to remember the deeds that God does. He has saved my loved ones, He is always faithful, He protects and provides for us, He holds us close in bad times, and carries us in hard times. He is always there. His deeds are marvelous. Do we keep any "articles" about what He has done for us in our "box of memories"? I urge you to begin prayer journaling, if you haven't already, and write down how and when God does things for you. Mine might have titles like God Saves Young Girl, God Makes a Way--I''m Going to College!, God Saves My Mom, Brother Returns to Jesus, God Handles My Finances, God Provides Church Family, God Performs Miracle Healing....well, you get the picture!

In Jeremiah, God tells us that He knows the plans He has for us. I'd like to think of my "boxes" as being full of stories about God working in and through us, because in the end, my purpose will have been to fulfill all the things God had planned for my life.

"10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." Eph 2:10 KJV

"2 O LORD, I have heard thy speech, and was afraid: O LORD, revive thy work in the midst of the years, in the midst of the years make known; in wrath remember mercy." Hab 3: 2

So What is Life Really.......and what goes in the box when it's all over. Blogpost by Tammy Konneker

I've always wondered.....why??? What purpose do we serve? What do the majority of us do with the gifts given to us? On the day that they close our casket door and we return home....what will they put in the empty boxes of the life that I led....that you lead. All of things that we gathered along the way that held so much value are tucked away in boxes, some never to be seen again, some to be pulled back out at other times to remind us of the one that we held so dear. I have always marveled that in the beginning was God and in the end is God. Its always mesmerized me that in Genesis.....God spoke everything into existence. Go ahead....read it. He spoke to the light and it appeared, he spoke to the waters and they appeared, he spoke to the stars and they appeared....but stop...now look at Genesis 2:7 the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and the man became a living being." NIV God didn't speak you and I into existence he felt us worthy enough of a touch from his royal hands, cupped in the dirt of the ground and he gathered it together and he formed and molded us into his image and then he bent over us and with one glorious breath....he breathed life into us. His lips touched ours and life would never be the same. But then the world starts pouring in and we forget those lips that touched ours. We forget the one that gave breath and that also takes breath away. We get so tied up in this world of OUR accomplishments that we totally miss the gift that has been there all along....but we in our hurried world have seemed to walk past it in an effort to make something of ourselves and our children. But what really is our purpose....our reason. Why did you choose to breathe life into my nostrils Lord? What purpose, what plan....have I failed to see. Ecclesiastes was believed to be wrote by the Great King Solomon...in it he writes about the temporality of this world and the meaninglessness of it. Eccl 1:11 There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow." NIV What sits then in my box on the day they close my casket and begin to pack up the boxes of my life. Will I have served my purpose here? Will I have fulfilled what I was truly sent here to accomplish? Without Christ....LIFE....holds no meaning. Life as we have made it is meaningless. God gives life its meaning. Why he chose to use such weak vessels as us to proclaim and bring forth the good news...I'm struggling with the answer to. Why would you chose to send a son from such a lineage as Joseph's. Why would you chose a family with such stains and tarnish to bring forth the savior of the world. Why would you chose a bunch of sinners and save them by your grace...by GRACE alone!! I think I want nothing put into those boxes on that day.....I think I want my boxes to sit next to my casket.....EMPTY....and void of what this world has to offer. Knowing that because those boxes are empty.... my heart and soul were not burdened by the things of this world....but by my purpose alone. How many boxes will it take to fill your accomplishments in this life? Or will your's remain empty as well.....

"God Thinks He's God" a life application devotional by Kay Cameron from Luke 18:18-25

In a lot of sermons, Pastor Tim uses this phrase to instill in us the understanding that God wants to be number one in our lives. God should always come first in our lives. Then our family should come next. Church and job come third and fourth. My husband's uncle, a bi-vocational pastor, used to struggle over whether he should be at the Wednesday night church service or at his son's baseball game. It took him a while to realize that family comes before church. Sometimes we confuse church with God. People can put church number one in their lives and yet not know God. And sometimes we have a tendency to put our family or money or our job in first place. God has already told us that we should have no other gods before Him. How many of us know someone who worships money, or power, or a spouse? It happens. And God will call us on it. The things that we find most precious are the things that He will require from us. Just like the rich young man in the Bible whom Jesus told to sell all he had and give it to the poor, sometimes what we love most is required of us. If our time is precious to us, God will require our time. If our money means the world to us, God will require our money. After all, God thinks He's God. And He is. Be careful not to put anything else before Him. We don't really possess anything we have, it's just on loan from God.

Luke 18:18-25

18 And a certain ruler asked him, saying Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
19 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.
20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do no kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.
21 And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up.
22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing; sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.
23 And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he was very rich.
24 And when Jesus saw that he was very sorrowful, he said, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!
15 For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

KJV

What Can I Do With Only This....blogpost by Tammy Konneker

Mark 6: 6-8 Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. Calling the twelve to him, he sent them out two by two and gave them authority over evil spirits. These were their instructions: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff-no bread, no bag, no money in your belts." (NIV) In all of the gospels each of the apostles never failed to mention this. Each is told from different perspectives but yet Jesus had made this point perfectly clear that each of them mentioned it in their writings. The disciples that Christ called weren't wealthy by any means but most had made a standard of living that made them comfortable. And then along comes Jesus and says to them first to drop everything....to leave their families....to allow the dead to bury the dead and by the way on this journey with Jesus....bring nothing with you. Everything that you have grown so secure in....leave it behind....it holds no value in Jesus world. It has no meaning, it can save no one......it can't even save you. I thought alot about that this week....could I do that. If Jesus said today to walk away from everything I know to be secure in my life....would I be able to do it. I was reminded in a sermon this week about Zacchaeus. Luke 19:1-10 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through it. A man was there named Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was rich. He was trying to see who Jesus was, but on account of the crowd he could not, because he was short in stature. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree to see him, because he was going to pass that way. When Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, hurry and come down; for I must stay at your house today." So he hurried down and was happy to welcome him. All who saw it began to grumble and said, "He has gone to be the guest of one who is a sinner." Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord, "Look, half of my possessions, Lord, I will give to the poor; and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will pay back four times as much." Then Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because he too is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek out and to save the lost." You and I can't imagine the desperation of wanting nothing more to see and know Jesus that we would give up everything that we hold so dear....I want to be a Zacchaeus. I want to be so desperate to behold Jesus that I would surrender everything just to be in his presence. How far will you climb to catch a glimpse of Jesus....how much will you surrender just to serve him.

"Ulcerative Colitis" A life application devotional by Kay Cameron from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

A few years back I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a form of inflammatory bowel disease. It is a nasty disease that affects other parts of the body besides the colon. Since that diagnosis, I have had several surgeries for various problems, developed arthritis, and have days when I feel pretty lousy.

I used to take 16 pills a day to control the disease and keep it in remission. When the pill-makers came out with a higher dosage pill, I was ecstatic! I would only have to take 8 pills a day! Yeah! But, guess what? The pills were much bigger, and harder to swallow. It seems that for every step forward, I take two steps backwards.

Would I like to be healed? You bet! Have I prayed for healing and had others pray for me? Yes! Is my colonic disease still in remission? Yes! Yet it still affects other parts of my body. It is like a thorn in my side. I have often wondered why the Lord doesn't take it completely away.

Sometimes the thorn in the side doesn't go away. Paul knew about this. And he persevered, never wavering in this faith. Sometimes we just have to keep on going, always in the knowledge that the Father knows what He is doing. Let's see...I keep better track of my health now, I watch my diet, I exercise regularly, I really enjoy the good days, I keep in close touch with my Maker, I realize that each good day is a gift.

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10

"7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." KJV

Ticked Off!!

Ok, gonna write despite the fact that I can't get the picture uploaded that I wanted for this blog. It's 1 o'clock in the morning and sleep eludes me once again. It seems that Lyme has its own sleep clock and everything you get to accomplish for the day is based around its time. Yeah, I know I'm writing this in green....for those of you that don't know green is for Lyme Awareness . Yeah there really is something called Lyme Awarenes you see it seems this so callled easy to treat disease has provoked enough frustration in enough people that there had become more and more advocates to teach you about the saftey of not ever having to live through this nightmare. I hadn't told many of my friends much about Lyme because it really is dehumanizing what it does to the human body and the friend they once knew. I very seldom get out of my house anymore as many of you know. There is nothing worse that getting into Walmart-not knowing why you're there, what your there for and then running into familiar faces with this lost and panicky look in your eyes. My friend kinda chuckled at me this week....she said she is going to get me a bracelet that says if she gets lost pleaee call this number. I had to laugh....but really in my mind was thinking HEY I'll TAKE ONE!! You see with lyme it does these funny things with your mind.......it overtakes it!!! You can be driving along having the greatest of days one minute and within a blink of an eye you can be dizzy, disoriented, nauseated and completely petrified that you'll never find your way back home or better yet....back to the old you. I knew little about Lyme before I contracted it. I was like most people. I thought one simple antibiotic and life would return to normal.....boy was alot of us sure wrong. Lyme leaves you with a new surprise every morning and sometimes within minutes to hours. Thank God I have this dear and very attentive husband as we went to the farmers market with David, Heidi and the kids and the place was packed with people, music, tent and vendors. Somthing I used to love....when all of a sudden I felt the warmness of Bill's hand slip into mind and I said to him "you could tell I was getting dizzy an disoriented couldn't you" he simply gave a nod and led me along our way. Its hard to explain to complete strangers even close friends how your body feels. Its truly embarrassing to say that I can't drive there or explain why all of a sudden your extremities look like a parkinson's patient with all the twitching and muscle jerking, its hard to explain why all of a sudden you feel as though your gonna throw up and nothing pre-emptd it. Its hard to explain that when more than one thing is happening around you that your brain can no longer process it all. It hard to explain that when you first get up from a sitting or lying position that it takes a minute for the leg tremors to stop and for the joint rigidity to let go so that you can take those first clumsy steps. I've been laying here tonight thinking of all the thorns that each of us carries that we wish God would remove and I'm even more convinced that Paul's had to be Lyme Disease (just kidding) but I'm also remembering Christ saying "My Grace is Sufficient for You." Time will heal my wounds, my soul may take longer as I've seem to lost that wonder woman attitude and now take each day with the good that I can gain from it. Lyme stinks...but what doesn't stink is a God that has never left my side and has carried me through on the days when I can't walk. Its the pastor friend that says I know you can't drive but I'm coming to get you cause I still need your opinion (that means so much, when you have lost so much of who you were prior). I wouldn't wish this on anyone but God has allowed this thorn and with this thorn I can either embrace its implications and use it for his Glory or I can succumb to its terrible fate. This was supposed to be posted to my personal blog but somehow i've got the church one and mine tied together. LYME BRAIN. I'll get it serperated out sorry for the inconveince.

"Under Attack" by Kay Cameron (a life application devotional from Ephesians 6:11-18)

There was a time not so long ago when Murphy's Law tried to take over our family. Everything that could go wrong, did. My husband was in a car accident resulting in a badly broken arm and surgery. I underwent surgery. My grown children and their families were under attack. Our youngest daughter was under attack. And it was all too much to be just coincidence. All these attacks happened after we made a commitment to be home team pastors for our church. Satan was trying to stop us by occupying us with self-pity over all the bad things that were happening in our lives. During the time we were under attack we learned trust and perseverance. We learned that God's promise is not to protect us from everything bad in this world, but to hold us during the attacks and let us know how much we are loved. We truly learned what it feels like to be held by God. And we never stopped girding ourselves with the full armor of God. He gives it to us for a purpose, that we "might become a spear in the Lord's hand to be used as an instrument of righteousness." It is our hope to be a weapon in God''s hands that He feels He can use anytime in the battle against Satan. We never want to be an instrument for Satan to use.

"Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Praying always, with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints."

The battle rages, but we must be willing to charge the gates of hell with a water pistol. God used David, who was just a boy, and five small stones. He can use us.

"If You Could Only See the Battle" blogpost by Tammy Konneker

It came to me last week, when my husband said that when he gets to heaven he wants to be an angel. And I recall asking him "Are you really sure of what your asking for." Most of us when we think of angels have this precious moments image of cutsey little angels with cherub like faces. But over and over in the bible it reveals that when angels appeared many people fell to the ground in fear and trembling. I believe God reserves the job of angel status for those that stand face to face in adversity and don't give in to the threats of the enemies. In 2nd Kings 6: 15-17 "when theservant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. "Oh, my lord, what shall we do?" the servant asked. Don't be afraid, the prophet answered, "those who are with us are more than those who are with them. And Elisha prayed, 'O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.' Then the Lord opened the servants eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. So many times in our own lives we feel overwhelmed or defeated in the situations of life, we pray but our prayers seem left unanswered when in all reality there is an unseen army that is standing in the gap on our behalf. Daniel could have given up he had already been throw into the fire to perish, he been banished to the lions den but on this occasion he would have been more discouraged than at any of those other times.....as God had came to his rescue in his prior circumstances in such a timely manner. But when Daniel 10 comes into the scene Daniel comes face to face with Michael the Archangel he fell to his knees in fear and trembling it says that his face became pale and he was unable to speak in the angels presence....you see Daniel had been praying to God for help but 21 days had already passed and there seemed to be no answer from God, but (vs13) tells us that Michael informed Daniel that his prayers had been heard from the first time he prayed but it took Michael 21 days to fight the prince of persia (satan) to be able to come to Daniels plea for help. So much of our lives is full of hardships, saddness that we can't comprehend, financial failures, marriage failures, kids that have seemed to have lost their way but fear not God has heard your pleas from the moment you began to pray and know that there is a mighty battle that is unseen on your behalf.

"You Can't Go Back" by Kay Cameron (a life application devotional from Luke 12:34)

This past weekend my husband and I took a trip back to the area where I grew up. Previously, I had always stopped in my hometown when we had gone that way. This time I didn't. There was no use going back to where my old house used to be, since it has been torn down. A new house stands in its place, in the exact middle of both lots. Our house used to stand on the west lot, with the east lot being left empty for summer baseball games and catching lightning bugs in old mayonnaise jars with holes in the lids. My old neighbors no longer lived there. Some had moved to other cities and others had moved completely out of state. The old laundromat is gone, the church where I used to attend Thursday Club for Kids has burned down and been replaced by a new one, and there is even new playground equipment at the schools. I don't even have any relatives who live there anymore. This past weekend it hit me that I can't go back any more. I can live in memories, but I can't go back. Churches are the same way. We can live in our memories, but we can't go back. We must move forward or stagnate. The same is true of our walk with Christ. Memories are precious, but they are not where our treasure is. And treasures are not for storing, like memories. They are for sharing. So share some of the treasures you have today by telling someone about the Treasure of your life.

Luke 12: 34 "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Taking the question out of Christianity....

I have been in the church for as long as I can remember. To miss a Sunday was unheard of in our family...yet even in all of that....something was missing. I recall many a casual services attended even as a child wondering if they understood the totality of their worship or messages preached. It seemed all to scripted...today I look at the church "the body of Christ...the bride of Christ" and I wander what kind of bride would we be. Would we walk that isle with confidence to the bridegroom that awaits or would we be cowardly sitting in the corner thinking ourselves not worthy to marry a groom of this magnitude. In those churches as I was growing I recall so many times families that came for the 911 call. You know the type...you've been the type. We all profess that we believe in God but yet we only need him when our world is crashing down around us. I remember deacons informing divorced mothers that there was no place for them in this church, or the couple that we're living together...being told "no admittance," clean up your act and then come look us up. Do we fail today at reminding people that God chose you!!! He knows your sins, He knows my sins but yet he gently reminds us...that...YOU are Welcome here. I have a place for you. I have a name for you. I have a job for you to fulfill the words that I gave my prophets in times of old. He didn't ask about their past, he didn't dwell on the fact that our messed up lives couldn't possibly be used by the king of kings. We believe the misconception that all of the followers before us Had it All Together before God called and continued to use them. When Christ called his first disciple Peter, Peter had even asked Jesus to go away from him for he was a sinful man. But Christ didn't settle for that he insisted and Peter dropped everything right there in that very moment and gave his life to serving God. 2 Corinthians 5:16 "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation; the OLD is GONE, the new has come! I think that was what attracted us so much to Carlinville Southern life. They believed fully in the fact that Jesus came to save the sick (the lost) not to save the found. We began to grow in the Carlinville Southern family. We began to be challenged by those that surrounded us. We began to challenge one another to walk out a life worthy of the calling. Not to be worthy....but to strive daily to make our lives more inline with that of Jesus. blog post by Tammy Konneker